It's day 2 of red and black week created by Sophistique Noir and I'm showing another red and black thing today.I think I'm the only guy doing it, that's gotta count for something right? ;) 
Yes that's my 2nd picture, not much since I'm building up to actually having an "outfit" but hey whatever, it suits what I'm going to blog about. And in case you don't know what this is, it is the lovely symbol of BDSM (how's that for a "dark" themed blog lol) yes that evil sexual practice in which someone is being a slave against their will and being forced to do unspeakable acts... only that's not really what goes on. However I have yet to participate in this practice so this is not from experience but from what others (I assume experts in this field) have to say.
So I was wondering if I should make my blog have a warning for adult content, but I decided not to because adult content would be something describing every little detail of a sexual act or showing pictures of nudity. Both of which I will not being discussing here, since this is about education it's not supposed to be anything more than that.
This blog is just a quick overview of what BDSM is and about educating people who think that BDSM is sick and is harmful to relationships because of how brutal it is thus they say it's like an abusive relationship. Honestly I think BDSM is much more romantic than many other "vanilla" things (things normal people do). The funny thing is that these people might actually be participating in some type of BDSM.
What exactly is BDSM?
Well it's when one person (the Dominate) takes control over another person (the submissive), but that's a very very simplistic version so let's go into some greater detail. In long hand BDSM is Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadomasochism. However BDSM can be one or all of these things. B/D is pretty obvious, in Bondage the Dom (Dominate person) binds the sub (submissive person) somehow either with rope or handcuffs or other interesting objects. And in Discipline the Dom disciplines the sub (of course) by doing many different things ranging from tying up the sub to using whips and such. D/s is still kind of obvious (at least I think so). In Dominance the Dom barks orders to the sub and sometimes even physically forces the sub to do and in Submission the sub does what the Dom wants him/her to do (sometimes they don't though... ). Lastly, in Sadomasochism means getting pleasure from getting or receiving pain or humiliation. Thus the Dom giving the sub pain or humiliating acts and the sub enjoying them. So now you kind of know what it is so let's get further into it and talk about the most important things for people who like this.
What is BDSM all about?
The 3 most important words you will hear about BDSM is SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL. Thus people who participate in this will try as much as they can to be safe (obviously it's easier in some cases than in others. This also includes what "normal" people do too for safe sex), people who participate in this will also try as hard as they can to be sane and not get carried away with the scene, and they will never do this with someone that does not say that they want to have sex this way. There are also other things that people do such as print out a sheet that says what they will and will not do (the sub is pretty much the one who chooses what can and can't be done, but if the Dom doesn't want to do something then the sub might have to allow that activity to go). However if someone feels that they have to have their partner put their signature on the bottom of this then they shouldn't participate, because trust is a key aspect of BDSM too.
The two very key elements besides SSC is *Communication* and *Trust* Communication is key to know how far to go either before hand or during the activity (using safe words such as "orange" to slow down, "yellow" to pause, "red" to stop you don't have to use these words though they are just great ones to use because they are easy to remember. I should say that you should always have at least one safe word, especially if it's your first time because the Dom/sub is not you which means they do not know if you are enjoying the activity or if you are really in pain and it has gone a little far). It's obvious why Communication is very important because this is not torture, both the Dom and sub are looking for pleasure.
Are you at all into any degree of BDSM?
BDSM can be as simple as cuffing your lover to the bed or putting on a blindfold, and go to the insane degree as being a full time slave (Honestly I don't know how some people can actually enjoy being a 24/7 slave, however there are people like that in the world and to them I say "keep doing what you're doing as long as you're happy about it" [which they most likely are]. Actually the funny thing is that the people in these relationships tend to be in happier relationships than the people in normal relationships [it's actually not all that impressive since so many people get divorces nowadays].
Whereas sex is biological, BDSM is more psychological.
Many people think that BDSM is all about inflicting pain on another person but it's not so. One of the main appeals to BDSM is the power exchange (giving the Dom power over you but also having limits on what they can/can't do). This is shown in the people who are want to have control over everything in their lives but are subs. For some it's also they adore women (or men) and they just want to serve them and make them happy. For me there's many different appeals the main one is knowing that I am giving the woman pleasure, but there are more.
Here's a list of things that are BDSM but can easily not be violent at all
1. Sensation play - this is the Dom using sensations on the sub to cause both to have fun. It can be anything from using feathers to ice and hot wax (hence why I wanted to use it instead of the fake blood). It can also be sensory deprivation and can also involve flogging and bitting.
2. "normal" sexual things but with being "forced" to do.
3. Almost anything in the humiliation category (gags can be violent depending on what one you use though)
BDSM can involve lots of creativity with different scenes and such ...I guess this is where all that creativity that was supposed to be for clothes went...
Myths:
1. It's horrible nobody would want that and it's just like an abusive relationship!
So for those of you that say that it is horrible that a sub is getting abused, I have this to say to you. Did you read what I wrote? subs enjoy the abuse (when in the bedroom, and some of them enjoy it all the time) it's psychologically fulfilling and fun. Obviously subs would not do it if it wasn't fun for them. The Dom's are also very careful as to not go to far on the subs too because they LOVE their partner too (unless it's at one of those parties, then they just have empathy for another fellow human being). The reason I say that this is more romantic than the "vanilla" relationships is because through this you get more in-tune with you lover (Dom's can enjoy inflicting pain on their sub but only if they know that the sub is enjoying it and after a few sessions the Dom will have a good idea of where the sub's comfort level is), there is also the part of how far someone is willing to go to pleasure their lover (the Dom has to be very considerate of the sub and the sub is taking the abuse from the Dom, well the abuse that's not above their comfort level).
2. It's caused by abuse
Nope. There was never any abuse that happened in my family. My best guess would be that this stuff is genetic.
3. More myths http://www.nlacolumbus.com/global/smmyths.html It's already 4 am here and I don't want to spend another 30 minutes writing down all this stuff
My thoughts:
Now you've heard what BDSM really is, so what do I think of it? Obviously I'm into it (otherwise I wouldn't have made this blog) but like everyone I do have my limits. I could talk more about it but I doubt you really care lol. Oh and in case you are wondering I am a switch (meaning I enjoy both being a Dom and sub) but I'm more into being a sub, there's nothing sexier than a mentally strong woman. ;) But why do you even care?
I actually was just listening to this song and it seems like it actually works for this blog (if you think about it. It's really not about BDSM at all even though it can be applied to it).
Links (only if you're interested in this kind of stuff and there is slight nudity):
http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html (best site for information in my opinion).
http://toywithme.com/sexuality/the-psychology-of-submission/
Oh and before I go I also managed to add something new about what my blog is generally about (it's even more general than the big white letters under the title).
Reminder for blog # 12: Life is short so have fun and do what you want (as long as you're not bringing harm to others).
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