Yep it's that time again, hopefully everyone has had a great Halloween!
So, for a Halloween blog I have a story planned. This was actually something I was planning on doing as a normal blog thing, but I ended up not doing that. Anyway here's the story:
Bobbie was an 8 year old child, going to Grandde Elementary School he had an older sister named April who would always go trick-or-treating with him, and was very protective of her younger brother.April also loved to scare her brother just before they went out trick-or-treating because she wanted Bobbie to be in the perfect mood for the time of year. However this Halloween was different, April had a very bad cold and could not take her younger brother trick-or-treating this year. Bobbie was very sad about this, but Ashley suggested he should ask their parents if he could go by himself, so Bobbie did.
"Mommie, Daddie can I please go trick-or-treating? I'm old enough to go by myself!" His parents discuses this together and they finally decided that he could "But be careful Bobbie, we don't want you to end up like that one kid who was kidnapped and killed all those years ago!". Bobbie agreed to be careful and then ran back to his big sister telling her the good news, "April, April I can go trick-or-treating!" He was so excited, and April was happy for him. She asked him to come close because she wanted to tell him the traditional scary story before he left. This scary story was about an old sacrificial burial ground in a place called the Omanama Park, it wasn't too far from where they lived which made it an even scarier story! Anyway, the story started off that Omanama Park was an ancient sacrificial burial ground where people used to sacrifice humans to the gods to protect them from a beast that was terrorizing their town. The sacrifices didn't work, however because there was something with the ground and everyone who died on that ground came back to life exactly 15 years later and killed the first person they saw as their revenge for being murdered.
After story time with his big sister, Bobbie got dressed into his Friday the 13th Jason costume, grabbed his pillowcase, and started going trick-or-treating. Right before the first house Bobbie noticed that his pillow was still in the pillowcase, so Bobbie threw it on the ground and rang the doorbell. "Trick-or-Treat!"
A few blocks down a creepy guy with broken teeth, and an eye-patch was sitting in his car. Bobbie passed the car and soon the creepy guy got out "hey kid..." Bobbie looked back and remembered what his mother said to him when he was running out the door "be careful of strangers, hunny, tonight is the night when many kids go missing so whatever you do, don't go near adults who aren't in a house, especially if you don't know them." So Bobbie turned and ran, but the man started chasing him! Bobbie was running past cars, over fences and even made it to his school, but the creepy man still followed. "How am I going to lose this guy?" Bobbie thought to himself, "ah,ha! I got it, I'll lose him in the old park!" So Bobbie ran to the old park, he was confident he would get away, but something poked up from the ground, grabbed his ankle, and he tripped.
A few seconds later the creepy guy arrived at the park "Hmmm, where did that kid go? All I wanted was to give him back the wallet that he dropped." The man looked for the kid a few more minutes, but with no luck he headed home. The wind picked up later that night, it was so strong it blew some of the bushes around, allowing the park's sign to finally be read "Welcome to Omanama Park".
.... yeah I know, this wasn't a very good story and it's totally told and not shown but hey, who was fone?
What did I do this Halloween? Well nothing except go to class, have dinner with a friend, and watch Hocus Pocus ( a movie that I think I remembered watching as a kid). What did you do for Halloween?
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Sunday, October 21, 2012
My Horror Video game Recommendations
OK so Halloween is coming up and what better way to celebrate it than to play some creepy videogames? Here are some horror-themed video games that you might want to check out.
1. Silent Hill 3 (PS2, PC) - My favorite Silent Hill game, it's a sequel to the first one where you play as Heather a grown woman venturing into the evil town of Silent Hill. It's basically one of the last really good survival horror games, in my opinion, and because it's a survival horror game it has those tank-like controls. It also has a few bonuses in the game depending on how you beat it (with 3 different endings), and it also has some awesome places you go, like the Amusement Park, and Robbie the Rabbit making this my favorite Silent Hill game. Also this game is out in the Silent Hill HD "Collection" but I advise against getting that since I hear that it has a ton of bugs, different voice actors, really dumb changes, and the people who made the "collection" already stated that they will not patch/fix the Xbox 360 version.
2. Illbleed (Dreamcast) - Possibly my favorite Dreamcast game. It's basically a haunted house simulator where you go through different levels that have different stories, but the main story in the game is that the . There are multiple endings (with 4 different end bosses and you choose to fight one of them), and quite a few different places you go to, from a real haunted house to a mall. It also has decent controls (they're not great but the game is still playable!), a really unique health system and gameplay (you have 3 different meters, one for how much blood you've lost, one for how scared you are, and one is your general health, the main way you get injured is through traps that either scare you, make you bleed, hurt you, or a combo of all 3 but you can detect the traps to avoid getting injured it's very unique and there's no other game like it!), it also has some amazing dialogue, and by that I mean very hilariously bad dialogue and voice acting, it's pure B-Horror-movie fun! Sadly it was one of the last games on the Dreamcast and got overlooked by a lot of people, it's also getting rather expensive now, I got my copy (complete with everything) for about $25, and now the price for a complete version is in the high $30's.
3. Lone Survivor (PC) - Don't let the 2D retro graphics fool you, this game can get really creepy. Actually this game is probably the scariest game to come out in a long time (with Silent Hill and Resident Evil dropping their survival horror elements and becoming action games) I love Lone Survivor because it shows that you don't have to have flashy graphics to be scary, you just have to have a creepy soundtrack, scary sounds and a haunting atmosphere.
4. Obscure (PS2/Xbox/PC) - Want to play a survival horror game with a friend? Here you go. I think this is the only survival horror game to actually include co-op besides it's sequel (Obscure: The Aftermath). I know Resident Evil 5 has co-op but it is not a survival horror game, at most it's action horror. Anyway, the story for this game is that something is happening at your high school and you're locked inside the school when looking for your friend (idk what kind of high school it is since it's gigantic, but I wish I went there instead of my high school, well you know without all the creepy monsters and stuff lol) You have many different characters to chose from, it includes co-op, there are a few extras, it's like a teenage B-horror-movie (think the movie The Faculty). Sadly this can also be a little pricey (the PS2 Version I have is now $27 - $37
5. Fatal Frame series (PS2/Xbox) - The scariest games I've played, you use a camera to kill the enemies (ghosts) and you do more damage the closer they are when you take the picture. It's really scary when you have to wait just until they are right up in your face about to hurt you.
6. Vampire: The Masquarade - Bloodlines (PC) - OK, so I know this isn't really a creepy game, but I absolutely love it and it is a good game to play for Halloween. I haven't played a whole lot of this game (like only 21 hours worth lol) so I don't know the whole story but it seems like you got turned into a vampire and now you have to do all these quests for them.... in case you were wondering, yes this is an Action RPG game and it is so much fun. You can customize your character (sadly the only real customizations are the name and type of vampire, I don't think you can't change the face :( ), and you can do a lot of side missions if you want to (I always do, it makes the game more fun that way). The only huge downside about this game is that it has tons of glitches (you can find a patch online though so it's not that bad) and it seems to have a hard time running on steam.
Other games to check out that I haven't played all that much so I can't comment on them:
Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth
Amnesia the Dark Descent
Blood
Well that's about it, I think I'm also going to stop posting on the weekends since I know this upcoming weekend will be a little crazy.
1. Silent Hill 3 (PS2, PC) - My favorite Silent Hill game, it's a sequel to the first one where you play as Heather a grown woman venturing into the evil town of Silent Hill. It's basically one of the last really good survival horror games, in my opinion, and because it's a survival horror game it has those tank-like controls. It also has a few bonuses in the game depending on how you beat it (with 3 different endings), and it also has some awesome places you go, like the Amusement Park, and Robbie the Rabbit making this my favorite Silent Hill game. Also this game is out in the Silent Hill HD "Collection" but I advise against getting that since I hear that it has a ton of bugs, different voice actors, really dumb changes, and the people who made the "collection" already stated that they will not patch/fix the Xbox 360 version.
2. Illbleed (Dreamcast) - Possibly my favorite Dreamcast game. It's basically a haunted house simulator where you go through different levels that have different stories, but the main story in the game is that the . There are multiple endings (with 4 different end bosses and you choose to fight one of them), and quite a few different places you go to, from a real haunted house to a mall. It also has decent controls (they're not great but the game is still playable!), a really unique health system and gameplay (you have 3 different meters, one for how much blood you've lost, one for how scared you are, and one is your general health, the main way you get injured is through traps that either scare you, make you bleed, hurt you, or a combo of all 3 but you can detect the traps to avoid getting injured it's very unique and there's no other game like it!), it also has some amazing dialogue, and by that I mean very hilariously bad dialogue and voice acting, it's pure B-Horror-movie fun! Sadly it was one of the last games on the Dreamcast and got overlooked by a lot of people, it's also getting rather expensive now, I got my copy (complete with everything) for about $25, and now the price for a complete version is in the high $30's.
3. Lone Survivor (PC) - Don't let the 2D retro graphics fool you, this game can get really creepy. Actually this game is probably the scariest game to come out in a long time (with Silent Hill and Resident Evil dropping their survival horror elements and becoming action games) I love Lone Survivor because it shows that you don't have to have flashy graphics to be scary, you just have to have a creepy soundtrack, scary sounds and a haunting atmosphere.
4. Obscure (PS2/Xbox/PC) - Want to play a survival horror game with a friend? Here you go. I think this is the only survival horror game to actually include co-op besides it's sequel (Obscure: The Aftermath). I know Resident Evil 5 has co-op but it is not a survival horror game, at most it's action horror. Anyway, the story for this game is that something is happening at your high school and you're locked inside the school when looking for your friend (idk what kind of high school it is since it's gigantic, but I wish I went there instead of my high school, well you know without all the creepy monsters and stuff lol) You have many different characters to chose from, it includes co-op, there are a few extras, it's like a teenage B-horror-movie (think the movie The Faculty). Sadly this can also be a little pricey (the PS2 Version I have is now $27 - $37
5. Fatal Frame series (PS2/Xbox) - The scariest games I've played, you use a camera to kill the enemies (ghosts) and you do more damage the closer they are when you take the picture. It's really scary when you have to wait just until they are right up in your face about to hurt you.
6. Vampire: The Masquarade - Bloodlines (PC) - OK, so I know this isn't really a creepy game, but I absolutely love it and it is a good game to play for Halloween. I haven't played a whole lot of this game (like only 21 hours worth lol) so I don't know the whole story but it seems like you got turned into a vampire and now you have to do all these quests for them.... in case you were wondering, yes this is an Action RPG game and it is so much fun. You can customize your character (sadly the only real customizations are the name and type of vampire, I don't think you can't change the face :( ), and you can do a lot of side missions if you want to (I always do, it makes the game more fun that way). The only huge downside about this game is that it has tons of glitches (you can find a patch online though so it's not that bad) and it seems to have a hard time running on steam.
Other games to check out that I haven't played all that much so I can't comment on them:
Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth
Amnesia the Dark Descent
Blood
Well that's about it, I think I'm also going to stop posting on the weekends since I know this upcoming weekend will be a little crazy.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Even More Music Pickups! Remix Addition
So, I bet this is getting kind of annoying having so many music pickup posts so close together, so I swear the next blog will be about something else and will actually have substance unlike the previous blog lol.
Anyway here are some CD's I recently bought
Bis - Plastique Nouvau
OK, so I basically got this CD because it was obviously a DJ copy with write saying what tracks would be good to play in the club and what songs are dancible lol, but it is actually really really good. If you don't know who Bis is, they were an indie pop band who did a song I bet many of you remember, The Powerpuff Girls theme song! Anyway, this was their last CD and it's basically straightforward electronic music! Yep, that's right a pop group that had a CD full of electronic music with very minimal singing. The whole CD reminds me of another band, Alice in Videoland. This Cd actually sounds so good it makes me wonder why Bis wasn't an electronic band, but then I remember I still like their poppy music too lol. Anyway here are my favorite songs on this CD
"Protection (Nude Mix)"
"The End Starts Today (Tommie Sunshine's "Nail Me Down" Glasgow Summer Freestyle Mix)" - Ok so this track does actually have a lot of singing, but hey, I think it's most singing on the whole CD lol.
Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral (and The Perfect Drug [Versions])
I originally wasn't going to get any NIN Cd's because for some reason I don't like getting CD's from extremely popular bands since I think their CD will always be available and other bands (like All Gone Dead or Ashbury Height) will either go waaaaay up in value or won't even be available when I want to buy it. However I ended up caving and buying these two CDs when I was at my local used CD store (the one really close to my house isn't a good one though, it's basically like a gigantic Wallmart, but they do have a huge collection of old CD's and video games, as well as books too, however their huge selection usually doesn't have any of the CD's that I really want and only a few bands I actually listen to (which is crazy since I listen to a ton of bands, but then again I don't listen to a whole lot of popular bands since I find most of my music on the internet lol, although I do have to say that I would really doubt a store like this would have Turkish pop music... yes that is the kind of music I loooove to listen to and it's totally the opposite of goth, Blaspheme! Lol.).....
Anyway back on topic, The Downward Spiral is OK and The Perfect Drug is a great single. The Downward Spiral has a few well known NIN songs like March of the Pigs, Closer, and Hurt, and The Perfect Drug has 5 different remixes with 4 different bands (yes, NIN did their own remix lol), including Meat Beat Manifesto, and Spacetime Continuum. My favorite songs on these CD's are
"Heresy"
"March of the Pigs"
"The Perfect Drug (Meat Beat Manifesto Mix)"
"The Perfect Drug (Spacetime Continuum Mix)"
Both of the remixes aren't on youtube so here's the original song
Front Line Assembly - Re-Wind
So this is basically just a whole remix CD, on the first disk FLA did all their own remixes, however on the second disk there are many different artists/bands that did the remixes (like Front 242). I really like this CD since it's more on the electronic side of FLA and not really metal sounding like some of their earlier stuff (ex. Millennium) Anyway my favorite tracks on this CD are
"Aftermath (We All Shall Perish-Mix)"
"Evil Playground (Chainsaw Mix)"
Wolfsheim - Popkiller
Wolfsheim's 4th album, 2nd CD. This is probably my least wanted Wolfsheim CD, however since Wolfsheim is such a hard band to find where I live I had to get it, and since I like Wolfsheim anyway it still ended up being a good CD. I don't believe it has any of their popular songs though (Tender Days and Lovesong might be popular but idk, the songs I remember from Wolfsheim aren't on this CD lol). For those of you who don't know, Wolfsheim is basically in the slow and more emotional synth-pop/electronic music like the band VNV Nation, if you like them you'll probably like Wolfsheim. Anyway my favorite songs on this CD are
"Entropy" - Actually one of my favorite Wolfsheim songs
"Tender Days"
Anyway here are some CD's I recently bought
Bis - Plastique Nouvau
OK, so I basically got this CD because it was obviously a DJ copy with write saying what tracks would be good to play in the club and what songs are dancible lol, but it is actually really really good. If you don't know who Bis is, they were an indie pop band who did a song I bet many of you remember, The Powerpuff Girls theme song! Anyway, this was their last CD and it's basically straightforward electronic music! Yep, that's right a pop group that had a CD full of electronic music with very minimal singing. The whole CD reminds me of another band, Alice in Videoland. This Cd actually sounds so good it makes me wonder why Bis wasn't an electronic band, but then I remember I still like their poppy music too lol. Anyway here are my favorite songs on this CD
"Protection (Nude Mix)"
"The End Starts Today (Tommie Sunshine's "Nail Me Down" Glasgow Summer Freestyle Mix)" - Ok so this track does actually have a lot of singing, but hey, I think it's most singing on the whole CD lol.
Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral (and The Perfect Drug [Versions])
I originally wasn't going to get any NIN Cd's because for some reason I don't like getting CD's from extremely popular bands since I think their CD will always be available and other bands (like All Gone Dead or Ashbury Height) will either go waaaaay up in value or won't even be available when I want to buy it. However I ended up caving and buying these two CDs when I was at my local used CD store (the one really close to my house isn't a good one though, it's basically like a gigantic Wallmart, but they do have a huge collection of old CD's and video games, as well as books too, however their huge selection usually doesn't have any of the CD's that I really want and only a few bands I actually listen to (which is crazy since I listen to a ton of bands, but then again I don't listen to a whole lot of popular bands since I find most of my music on the internet lol, although I do have to say that I would really doubt a store like this would have Turkish pop music... yes that is the kind of music I loooove to listen to and it's totally the opposite of goth, Blaspheme! Lol.).....
Anyway back on topic, The Downward Spiral is OK and The Perfect Drug is a great single. The Downward Spiral has a few well known NIN songs like March of the Pigs, Closer, and Hurt, and The Perfect Drug has 5 different remixes with 4 different bands (yes, NIN did their own remix lol), including Meat Beat Manifesto, and Spacetime Continuum. My favorite songs on these CD's are
"Heresy"
"March of the Pigs"
"The Perfect Drug (Meat Beat Manifesto Mix)"
"The Perfect Drug (Spacetime Continuum Mix)"
Both of the remixes aren't on youtube so here's the original song
Front Line Assembly - Re-Wind
So this is basically just a whole remix CD, on the first disk FLA did all their own remixes, however on the second disk there are many different artists/bands that did the remixes (like Front 242). I really like this CD since it's more on the electronic side of FLA and not really metal sounding like some of their earlier stuff (ex. Millennium) Anyway my favorite tracks on this CD are
"Aftermath (We All Shall Perish-Mix)"
"Evil Playground (Chainsaw Mix)"
Wolfsheim - Popkiller
Wolfsheim's 4th album, 2nd CD. This is probably my least wanted Wolfsheim CD, however since Wolfsheim is such a hard band to find where I live I had to get it, and since I like Wolfsheim anyway it still ended up being a good CD. I don't believe it has any of their popular songs though (Tender Days and Lovesong might be popular but idk, the songs I remember from Wolfsheim aren't on this CD lol). For those of you who don't know, Wolfsheim is basically in the slow and more emotional synth-pop/electronic music like the band VNV Nation, if you like them you'll probably like Wolfsheim. Anyway my favorite songs on this CD are
"Entropy" - Actually one of my favorite Wolfsheim songs
"Tender Days"
Friday, October 19, 2012
Let's Talk About The Weather!
Actually how about not since that would make a very boring blog, unless we talk about global warming or something like that, but I'm not going to do that, sorry random person wishing I would talk about global warming.
Anyway I don't really know what to really blog about, I'm trying to do a post every day though so I need to come up with something.... How about I do a blog post about coming up with a blog post and then the blog post I come up with is a blog post about doing a blog post about a blog post.... Nah, that would be too confusing for people.
OK so now being serious I have nothing to really talk about in this blog post, I mean I recently got these nice pants on amazon but I have no clue if I can wear them and not get crap for it or if they're too girly (I have a huge problem of not knowing what clothing is for guys and what is for girls, and because of that if I'm unsure of the clothing and it's something I like I'll either get it or try to get it and it turns out being for woman lol I'm so bad at "being a guy" lol. and I'm probably totally weirding you all out, but what do you expect from me? :P )
Laces (above) No Laces (down)
OK, so more music pickups will most likely be the next blog, followed by some actual Halloween themed blogs (omg Halloween themed blogs in October what is going on?) if everything goes to plan and I actually keep on posting blogs!
Until then I'm off to get some sleep (I ended up almost missing class because I basically slept through my alarm lol, gotta get to bed earlier tonight!) Also if anyone gets the title reference you get 20 goth points! lol
Anyway I don't really know what to really blog about, I'm trying to do a post every day though so I need to come up with something.... How about I do a blog post about coming up with a blog post and then the blog post I come up with is a blog post about doing a blog post about a blog post.... Nah, that would be too confusing for people.
OK so now being serious I have nothing to really talk about in this blog post, I mean I recently got these nice pants on amazon but I have no clue if I can wear them and not get crap for it or if they're too girly (I have a huge problem of not knowing what clothing is for guys and what is for girls, and because of that if I'm unsure of the clothing and it's something I like I'll either get it or try to get it and it turns out being for woman lol I'm so bad at "being a guy" lol. and I'm probably totally weirding you all out, but what do you expect from me? :P )
Laces (above) No Laces (down)
OK, so more music pickups will most likely be the next blog, followed by some actual Halloween themed blogs (omg Halloween themed blogs in October what is going on?) if everything goes to plan and I actually keep on posting blogs!
Until then I'm off to get some sleep (I ended up almost missing class because I basically slept through my alarm lol, gotta get to bed earlier tonight!) Also if anyone gets the title reference you get 20 goth points! lol
Thursday, October 18, 2012
The Stereotypical But Unusual Emo Post With Special Guest Mr. Music Pickup.
I want to start out this blog by saying sorry it's been so long since my previous blog post, I intended on making a "moving into my dorm" post but the day was too busy and I ended up forgetting, so here you go a new blog post just 2 months late!
Anyway, University has been going pretty badly, not because of the classes (there's only one I don't like) but because I think it basically kicked up my gender-dysphoria (with soooo many reminders that I'm not a girl) which in turn kicked up my depression. It seems like whenever I'm alone or I'm not hanging out with my friends or family I tend to think about myself and that isn't exactly the best thing for me to do because I reflect on everything and I get depressed because I think of myself and cannot stand that I was born a guy, along with other things like not having many friends that live in the dorm (I have like 1 or 2, and all the friends in my classes drive to University from where they live), or not having a girlfriend, or other stuff.I hate saying that I'm depressed because I hate and it makes it seem like all Gothic people are depressed when they are not! I also hate it because my life isn't as bad as other people I am in University, and I already my Associates degree, I have a job (just got that at University a few days after I got here), I have some good friends even if I can't hang out with them that much, heck, I even won a guitar at some University event! But to be blatantly honest I would give up that guitar in a heartbeat if it meant I would have a great girlfriend or amazing friends in the dorm, or I would especially give it up if it meant I could start life over as a girl.
However, lately I bought a Genesis and some video games and that seemed to help take my mind off of this stuff for a bit which is good for now, but I still need to see a gender therapist in the future though I'm just kind of scared and nervous about starting therapy.
OK, enough depressing news here's Mr. Music Pickup to save the post from being too depressing! Here's more music I picked up from over the summer to now.
Alien Sex Fiend - Fiend At The Controls
Alien Sex Fiend is a hit-or-miss band for me, some of their songs I just love (like E.S.T Trip To The Moon, and Magic) but then there are some songs that I just cannot stand at all (such as Smells Like..). However I think this CD is pretty good! It has tons of dubs (I believe those are basically instrumental remix tracks), other remixes, and a few demos and original tracks, and one interview. Oh and apparently it seems like this CD is kind of expensive, so I guess it was good I found it for $7 basically brand new! My favorite tracks on this CD are
"Comatose (The Ultra Mix)"
"Mrs. Fiend Goes To Outer Space (Edit)" - best song on the whole CD in my opinion
ASP - Hast Du Mich Vermisst
In my opinion ASP can be a really good band when they sing in English in German they're ok. However I found out almost all my favorite ASP songs were on this disk so I had to get it lol
"Where Do The God's Go?"
"Sing Child"
"Imbecile Anthem"
Emilie Autumn - Liar/Dead is the New Alive EP
When I saw this CD being sold at a decent price on Amazon I knew I had to buy it, it's one of the hardest Emilie Autumn CD's to find, the only one that might be harder is her Laced/Unlaced album, and it has some really great acoustic songs that are found only on this CD, not to mention some great remixes! There are remixes on this CD from Brendon Small, ASP, Angelspit, Dope Stars Inc, and Velvet Acid Christ). Now I basically have every EA CD (besides some of her early EP's) I just need to get Laced/Unlaced and Enchant from "real" labels and not the stupid IronD one... Oh and the best part was that this CD was autographed by Emilie Autumn! My favorite songs on this CD are (hint some of the only acoustic songs EA ever did)
"In the Lake"
"Let It Die" - learn the lyrics in Spanish! :P
Project Pitchfork - Dhyani
One of my favorite albums by Project Pitchfork (it's also their first) it is pretty much great electronic-industrial music at it's finest and some people think it sounds similar to Skinny Puppy. I see that a little bit because they both sing oddly, however Project Pitchfork is easier to listen to (if you haven't heard any Skinny Puppy before, if you have then they're both not that hard to listen to lol), and they are still both very different bands. You can really see that now if you compare their new stuff. It also seems like this album might be a little bit rare, but who knows lol.Anyway there are some really good songs on this album that are my favorite songs I've heard from Project Pitchfork They are
"K.N.K.A"
"2nd Step"
Well it's getting late, so I may end up posting a new blog in the future with more CD's, I need to start making more blogs on here, so maybe I'll try to post almost every day in October from now until Halloween? Idk
Anyway, University has been going pretty badly, not because of the classes (there's only one I don't like) but because I think it basically kicked up my gender-dysphoria (with soooo many reminders that I'm not a girl) which in turn kicked up my depression. It seems like whenever I'm alone or I'm not hanging out with my friends or family I tend to think about myself and that isn't exactly the best thing for me to do because I reflect on everything and I get depressed because I think of myself and cannot stand that I was born a guy, along with other things like not having many friends that live in the dorm (I have like 1 or 2, and all the friends in my classes drive to University from where they live), or not having a girlfriend, or other stuff.I hate saying that I'm depressed because I hate and it makes it seem like all Gothic people are depressed when they are not! I also hate it because my life isn't as bad as other people I am in University, and I already my Associates degree, I have a job (just got that at University a few days after I got here), I have some good friends even if I can't hang out with them that much, heck, I even won a guitar at some University event! But to be blatantly honest I would give up that guitar in a heartbeat if it meant I would have a great girlfriend or amazing friends in the dorm, or I would especially give it up if it meant I could start life over as a girl.
However, lately I bought a Genesis and some video games and that seemed to help take my mind off of this stuff for a bit which is good for now, but I still need to see a gender therapist in the future though I'm just kind of scared and nervous about starting therapy.
OK, enough depressing news here's Mr. Music Pickup to save the post from being too depressing! Here's more music I picked up from over the summer to now.
Alien Sex Fiend - Fiend At The Controls
Alien Sex Fiend is a hit-or-miss band for me, some of their songs I just love (like E.S.T Trip To The Moon, and Magic) but then there are some songs that I just cannot stand at all (such as Smells Like..). However I think this CD is pretty good! It has tons of dubs (I believe those are basically instrumental remix tracks), other remixes, and a few demos and original tracks, and one interview. Oh and apparently it seems like this CD is kind of expensive, so I guess it was good I found it for $7 basically brand new! My favorite tracks on this CD are
"Comatose (The Ultra Mix)"
"Mrs. Fiend Goes To Outer Space (Edit)" - best song on the whole CD in my opinion
ASP - Hast Du Mich Vermisst
In my opinion ASP can be a really good band when they sing in English in German they're ok. However I found out almost all my favorite ASP songs were on this disk so I had to get it lol
"Where Do The God's Go?"
"Sing Child"
"Imbecile Anthem"
Emilie Autumn - Liar/Dead is the New Alive EP
When I saw this CD being sold at a decent price on Amazon I knew I had to buy it, it's one of the hardest Emilie Autumn CD's to find, the only one that might be harder is her Laced/Unlaced album, and it has some really great acoustic songs that are found only on this CD, not to mention some great remixes! There are remixes on this CD from Brendon Small, ASP, Angelspit, Dope Stars Inc, and Velvet Acid Christ). Now I basically have every EA CD (besides some of her early EP's) I just need to get Laced/Unlaced and Enchant from "real" labels and not the stupid IronD one... Oh and the best part was that this CD was autographed by Emilie Autumn! My favorite songs on this CD are (hint some of the only acoustic songs EA ever did)
"In the Lake"
"Let It Die" - learn the lyrics in Spanish! :P
Project Pitchfork - Dhyani
One of my favorite albums by Project Pitchfork (it's also their first) it is pretty much great electronic-industrial music at it's finest and some people think it sounds similar to Skinny Puppy. I see that a little bit because they both sing oddly, however Project Pitchfork is easier to listen to (if you haven't heard any Skinny Puppy before, if you have then they're both not that hard to listen to lol), and they are still both very different bands. You can really see that now if you compare their new stuff. It also seems like this album might be a little bit rare, but who knows lol.Anyway there are some really good songs on this album that are my favorite songs I've heard from Project Pitchfork They are
"K.N.K.A"
"2nd Step"
Well it's getting late, so I may end up posting a new blog in the future with more CD's, I need to start making more blogs on here, so maybe I'll try to post almost every day in October from now until Halloween? Idk
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